As business owners, we have goals, intentions, outcomes we want to produce. So why do so many people fail at reaching their goals? There can be a lot of reasons but for so many people, the answer lies in a loose relationship with reality.
“We have a goal, a calling, a new beginning. Every great journey begins here – yet far too many of us never reach our intended destination. Ego more often than not is the culprit”
Ryan Holiday – Ego is the Enemy
We tend to overestimate our abilities and skills – we let our egos get in the way. We’re afraid to ask for help. We’re afraid to learn something new. And then, we find a good reason to blame someone or something else, and get distracted and move on to the next challenge. When we can be honest about our own strengths and weaknesses we then have the power to do something about it.
What do you struggle with in your business? Is it follow up? Making phone calls? Being motivated? Organization? Time management? Something else? Whatever it is, I imagine it’s not a new struggle but when is the last time you reached out to someone to help you improve in that area.
We let our ego get in the way of asking for help. We have to put forth an image, a reputation and that hides our authenticity and ability to move beyond our challenges.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year, that relates to this topic, comes from my weight loss journey. As a little bit of background, I have lost over 100 pounds in the last 14 months. The program is called Bright Line Eating – with four lines you don’t cross – no sugar, no flour, no snacks – 3 meals a day, and specific quantities of food at the meals.
I was sharing the program with a friend last week and she asked, “How do you not eat snacks? That’s got to be hard.”
Well, yes. I like to snack. But I learned early on that the food at the meals was plenty of food and I’m rarely hungry. So when I would experience hunger I’d look to see what time is was and how far away from mealtime I was. Rarely was it even close.
I started to pay attention to what I was really experiencing, since I wasn’t actually hungry. I had been programmed to handle any feeling or emotion with – “well, let’s eat something then we’ll deal with that” – and rarely did I “deal with that” after a snack. So I began to look for what was actually going on and deal with it. I have a list of emotions (Download it here) and I’d find the closest emotion to what I was experiencing. Then I’d tell myself, “food doesn’t solve that. Food solves hunger. I’m not hungry,” and then I would look for ways to actually deal.
So often, I found myself in “creative insecurity” or “Uncertainty” and I would then I would look for ways to deal with that – do a Google search, phone a friend, or get help.
One things that gets in the way of achieving success is lack of focus. We replace one feeling or emotion with a response that does nothing but distracts us from an opportunity. We may be feeling insecure or uncertain, and rather than deal with that, we find some way to avoid it. Some people go do laundry, walk the dog, complain about something but we protect our fragile ego from admitting a weakness and we’re immediately off the path to potential success and onto a distraction that takes us farther from our goal.
You have aspirations. Where is your ego in the way. By telling the truth, asking for help, and developing where we need development, we can take ground on our way to the top.
Photo credit: Copyright: prazis